Strong Willed Child

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The Strong-willed Child

If you are parenting a strong-willed or tough child, it is important not to panic when thinking about your child’s future. Some of the most successful adults were once very difficult children. So no matter what your child’s case, always envision the most positive future for your child.

Also, be sure to share those visions lovingly with your and set aside plenty of time to spend with them.

Tips that may be helpful to keep in mind are:

1. Focus on your relationship. The quality of your relationship with your child will determine how effective your discipline strategies are.

Build Your Relationship with Your Kids -- Perhaps the Most Effective Child Therapy Technique for Restoring Parent-Child Relationship:

The average kids receives approximately 2000 commands a day: wake up, get dressed, eat your breakfast, get your shoes, put on your shoes, tie your shoes, get your coat, and hurry up. While many of these commands are necessary, they also stress and can harm the parent-child relationship. During stressful times, good parents can become “bad bosses” by, without realizing it, INCREASING the amount of demands they give.

I often advise parents to spend some time one-on-one with their kids every day (as little as 20 minutes) when they give no commands—let’s call it “free time.” During “free time,” the child chooses and directs an interactive activity to do with their parent (anything except TV). The parent can participate, comment, encourage, and respond to their child–but not give a single command. This is remarkably difficult for most parents, many give commands without noticing it (i.e., Bella, pass me that Lego!). While challenging, mastering the skill of “free time” will counter some of the relationship stress caused from the 2000 commands a day, and help to strengthen the parent-child relationship.

2. Focus on responsibilities and rules. As a parent, it is your role to develop a plan as to what rules will be followed, how your child will be disciplined if they fail to follow the rules, what is and is not negotiable, which chores children will be responsible for, and when your family will spend time together. It is important to incorporate your entire family’s input and ideas into your plan and to tweak your plan as needed. Your plan should be designed to reward desired behaviors and should specify the consequences for undesired behaviors. Finally, it should be clear cut and understood by your entire family.

3. Be consistent. If another individual plays a role in how your child is being raised, work together. Children shouldn’t think that they can pit parents against one another or get one parent to overrule the other.

4. Spend time together. Spend as much quality time with your child as possible. Even if you can only eat one meal a day together, then eat one meal a day together. It is critical for you to maintain the strongest relationship possible with your child.

Boston Child Therapy and Adolescent Counseling

We are interesting in talking with you about your specific parenting issues, and interest in child therapy or adolescent counseling. Thrive Boston Counseling is the most sought after counseling practice in Boston. We serve Boston and Cambridge, MA, as well and individuals and families in the greater Boston areas. We are available today to speak with you. Call 617-395-5806.

www.ThriveBoston.com